2014

On February 15, 2014 we had a major shift in our journey. Things stopped for awhile. C, a very experienced skier, had an accident a few runs into his day, and fractured his C1 & C2. I was sleeping with the kids while our friend was holding his helmet, holding him still. Talking, laughing, reassuring, staying positive. Word got down the hill and the rescue team came soon enough, strapped him on a back board and skied him down the hill. We all probably should have avoided that weekend. Looking back each family had reasons to turn around. I had to work on Monday, others forgot important medical tools, another who recently gave birth had incredibly low blood pressure... But as we do we made the weekend happen. Who would ever have known? Only a broken neck was the result of that fall. Only a broken neck?? For some crazy reason, he was lucky and things cracked in the best way possible. Breathing was not restricted. Legs still move. He didn't die. In the end, what transpired was 6 months of intense healing, peppered with panic and anxiety, curbed by love and community. C had to wear a medieval contraption for 3 months straight. The device was drilled in to his head. He had to sleep sitting up. Drink from a straw. The other details, all too personal involved humility and grace. I didn't take any pictures last year of our little family. We were in survival mode. I forgot to book them in to activities for example. I moved us in to a new house. People were there for us. Random people I didn't even know thought of us, left food in door step. People took the kids for me to have a break. I cried, I drank. I talked about the situation a lot. And we got through it. He healed, perfectly in my opinion. "Has he changed?" - this is the most frequent question I have been asked since last year. Not really... But I didn't want him to change. And I was offended by the question. But there has been a shit tonne of reflection and of course, the gratitude is overwhelming some times. A year and a half later and things are back to normal. Underlying our normal is a deeper sense of belonging and commitment. I really want this family to work. And I continue to do all that I can to listen and respect him and raise our kids together. It's still fucking hard. Every day is a challenge and I am tired and underwhelmed. But a witnessed a lot of love last year and I am eternally grateful for that.