what I have learned this year

This little man of mine. He kills me. He is so damn naughty. He's a trickster, a fox. He runs across the street after I have screamed his name over and over again. He locks himself in the car, in the bathroom when he gets the change. He gets naked in public. He kisses the girls. He wants us to call him "Flash". I am mad over him. He makes me weak. Amidst the shocking behaviours he is pure love. Plays with my hair when I hold him. He asks for the "sleepy song" every night. Kisses me on the lips for a moment too long. He crushes my parenting skills. Unplugs me. And my ever growing Miss. Taller and stronger than I could ever imagine. She is determined, feisty, demanding, inquisitive, slow to warm up, private and bossy. She leads her brother in play, tells him what to do and say (and he does it, hasn't refused her yet). She takes forever. Her pace is a snail's compared to my Tasmanian Devil speed. I have to push her out the door, remind her to get dressed 99 times before it gets done. She doesn't stop moving and takes an hour to settle to bed. Her hair is a wild nest every morning. And she loves life, finds joy in the smallest things. Remembers everything, who gave her what, what I said. She collects trinkets and rocks and wants to be a veterinarian. And when we drive, we talk about life and death. They tell me when I have said too much, gone a little too far. They ask about my dad. They watch me go crazy when stressed, then watch me try settle down next. And then we all hug, forgiveness and comfort after the storm always brings me home, grounds me. What a gift. Too live life in front of little curious eyes that are watching, learning and doing as you do. I am trying to be a better person for them. Lucky world.