Blogs of late have inspired me to write some words of wisdom for my daughter Kate. I want to teach her things.
I also want to parent mindfully. To be fully present in thought, word and deed will be the utmost challenge for me. I am someone who naturally rushes through every moment of her life. Where am I rushing to?
My mother calls me "Slippery Fish". A Univerity professor dubbed me "Speedy Gonzalez". One work related preformance appraisal had an annonymous comment: "She makes me feel rushed". Where am I rushing to?
During my pregnancy I accepted that I needed to slow down. Mostly because I got fat in the middle and couldn't move as fast... But also because this baby would move more when I was still. And my stillness allowed me to feel her. Already, she had taught me to chill.
Since her birth I feel at peace. It is not only her that has brought me joy, but the ability this time has gifted me, to be still. To wait. To be patient. To see things as they are. To be more present. To be thoughtful. To be stronger. This total feeling of contentment is a surprise to me. The underlying drive that motivates me now has become more gentle, more tranquil. I finally feel like I am on the right path.
I have reached a destination. This is the place I must have been rushing to.
If I can offer Kate some insight to who I am, maybe she will grow to love my flawed self.
How well can I help shape this beautiful creature?
