It's a boy!

K was right the entire time I was pregnant. Did she know on a deep celular level that we were waiting for this exact boy. another perfect being to solidfy our family? She meet him with such ease like she aways knew him. She amazes me.

We took awhile to name our bawled Baby boy, perhaps because C was unavailable to commit to the time it takes to muster through a baby name book. Perhaps becasue we had no idea what sex the baby would be. C claims it was the responsibility of naming another human that caused him stress. It's a huge decision.

There was a video taken of me and him trying to come up with a name while I nursed A. A perfect latch. His face so unfamiliar to me still. Who are you little man? How am I going to know what to do with you?

He looks at me like he has been here before. It's unnerving. Like he wants a coffee and paper, not someone cooing and kissing him. He knows things. More than few people have said the same thing; "Look at those eyes, he is trying to tell me something".

So now we have a girl-boy combo? People started saying "perfect family" and "Million dollar unit"! What does that mean?!! Our perfectly not perfect partnership has been rattled and blessed by these two tiny crazy people who we know nothing about. I keep wondering "Where did you two come from?". It's all so amazing and yet so normal at the same time.

It's been a few months already and we are scratching the surface as to what we have got ourselves in to. Now this feels like a real family. Both of our pair of hands are full putting car seats away, crossing the street. It's busy.

A and I are super attached. He loves the boob. I could feed him all day. He twirls my necklace in between his pudgy fingers while I feed him. Heaven.

And K is the only one who can make him laugh. She tosses a toy and he chuckles, she jumps he starts giggling, if she gets down to his level... he belly laughs. But as soon as I say "Make your brother laugh". She refuses and pretends not to be interested. It's torture to be at the whim of an unpredictable toddler and infant to fill your soul with delight.

I'm tired. Oooooh so tired. If we get out of the house the day will be better. But man does it ever take effort. The days we stay indoors and watch too much tv or try do some house work, we all end up crying and needing a break.

I try to cuddle sweet and pacient A as much as possible. I worry his head is going to go flat. There are just endless tasks to accomplish.

Our midnight rondevous are what fuels me. Perhaps we shouldn't sleep tummy to tummy. But it's the sweetest most welcome touch to have your baby lie beside you. I am having a secret love affair with a younger man.

K said to me tyesterday after I told her "No" for some reason, "I am never going to play with you again!".

I love that kid. Right now she is watching Pocoyo in spanish on a split screen while I try write a memory (the days are going by to quickly, have you noticed).We are fighting for elbow space.

We took her for vietnamese food today and she ate beef wraps like she was born there. She's a pro traveller, avid story teller and super empathetic. I cried watching Untangled (when the mother and father find their Rupunzal again) and she watched me with concern and questioned why are you crying? Why are you laughing? She should talk, her baby bi-polar is not to be messed with.